La la la...and a happy new year!

Hey! Dont look so sad...i know you're not doing much or spending too much money but look on the bright side. Last year was fun! You did some hanging out at new joints, eating at the brilliant and now extinct China White, some first-class mall shopping like a true-blue mall rat, saw Carter Road CCD for the first time and enjoyed it in the rains too, no less! You stood up for yourself, took time off for an illness and got better in time, you're basically in the pink, saw some excellent movies, gave some excellent support to family and friends, grew more mature along with growing older...you did well for yourself! There's a long list still waiting in the new year, but I'm sure it cant be that tough. Just do it, babe!

And have a wonderful new year to do it all in! Dont have regrets, dont drive after drinking even a small peg, and basically party hard whenever you have the urge to do so. Paint the town red!

Happy 2007!

Aftermath

...stings! Back to reality is never so good anyway...you undergo major pangs of getting back where you've left off...getting back to your fav holiday place, snuggling under the covers and refusing to move.

To top it off, I've been reading P G Wodehouse where the characters are perpetually on vacation or doing nothing or well, having entertaining occupations that still leave time enough to go flirting about town, shopping and tossing back a cocktail or two before hitting le sack at midnight or thereabouts. And back to work with/without a hangover.

Hence, my mind needs some shoving back to reality. There's a New Year's Eve around the corner and well, once that's done we got nearly no reason to look forward to loaded weekends. This time I plan to do something...anything...even if I'm on my own like one of my best buddies does. She goes to a full seven-star buffet breakfast on her own. While I cant do that yet, I'd love to do what I did last Diwali. I went nuts at a mall and was happy bogged down with bags filled with bargains.

I dont want to shop this time but roam around I definitely will. Where...God knows! But I must.

I need to celebrate myself in the best possible way.

Djenie's on vacation

Up, up, and away...to wonderland. I still have packing to do for the Christmas break...going to a farmhouse out of town. I'm leaving this morning for a three day respite from shopping, spending, stressing and armed with a coffee book of helpful Tibetan knowledge...I'm off!

There's a couple of mails I need to respond to but i plan to put it off for as long as i can. A. I dont care. B. I dont want to commit myself and hence need to think up a good reason. I dont want to spend the rest of my life doing stuff I'm comproed into doing. Some things deserve compromise, like family, good friends and fun. But not this.

I wish to God that my Christmas gift had been a voucher this time...yet, i know that i deserved it for not sending out a wish list. Cant blame Santa for choosing the one he preferred, and i know it will be interesting and will be a splendid addition to my already quite diverse collection of books. I just hope I find it interesting too.

For now though, I'm just going to sit back and relax with plum cake and a couple of shots of rum.

As of now...

Being out of touch is really what i prefer. I should have said no to making a new email friend the very first time i was asked. Now i have to deal with someone's appreciation of me before the person even knows me. That isnt the really terrifying part.

The really terrifying part is the two-facedness of someone else who is only vaguely connected here. At one point, you hate my guts for what I did years ago when I was silly and immature. At the same time, you talk abt me to a complete stranger in such kind words that the stranger falls for me. I cant deal with a fan following considering i had a fan who well...got disillusioned because i changed. For me the change was for the better and will always be that way. For you, the change was for the worse coz it took away something you idolised and wanted more than the person behind all this.

Good intentions i realise carry as much weight as the last word. If my last word to you had been pathetic please let it be that way. Dont make me wonder about myself and the least you can do is make me live with a lot less guilt.

I cant handle another version of the same thing. Had I wanted a fan following...i'd have gone in the film line.

Life and something like it...

I realise how much one needs to avoid some things in order to survive. Like avoiding potatoes and bananas to lose weight (all dieticians recommend it). One needs to avoid worrying to stop shortening one's life and to cause less heartburn, heart attacks...or as my mom says your heart will enlarge and become hard with worry. Which is bad...they say anxiety can enlarge the heart although i think i may have imagined the hard bit. Although it does seem possible.

That's why i have this space. I can watch my worries melting away and just let go of them right here. On this space. That's why its also super secret a place.

My few moments of peace...

1. Working in the kitchen in the morning - cant think of anything else at the same time.
2. Going for a brief morning walk - half an hour of bliss and some greens for the eyes.
3. Reading
4. Weekends
5. Signing in at work and taking a small coffee break before I start working.
6. Evening walk towards my bus/rick stop
7. Buying veggies and fruits (never at the same time coz i tend to buy too much and then i cant walk all the way over to the fruit stall with the weight of the bag).
8. Going out
9. Shopping
10. Buying flowers to brighten the home

Just yesterday i told a guy who stopped calling me to stop any further communication. I dont know yet what his reasons were to stop calling the first time, but i know that i cannot stand it when its an arranged thing and one needs to know the other at the crucial first two months. Almost a month of no contact leaves me free to go scouting for other boys who want to talk to me. Without explanations too...like the person just chose to blank out of my life. I want to let him stay blanked out...on my terms.

I realise that i am harsh and i'd be more accomodating given different circumstances (or even a few years ago) but not anymore. I need to avoid something so i dont suffer from anxiety and an enlarged heart. the less my life's unpredictable...the better.

Loving promos more than the whole thing...

I love the first peek at a new movie. I also love the trailer that's shown during the interval of the movie you spend 160 bucks on at the multiplex. I tend to love it better than the actual product coz it seems like the trailer was more lovingly made than the entire movie of the same trailer. I dont know how that happens. Sadly, there are no traces of the magic created by the first peek and the trailer...the wondrous music that gets your foot tapping and your waist moving and your mind doing the jig fades away into some tracks that you know will not be as memorable.

I dont know who's involved at this time in the life cycle of a movie but whoever you are...you do magic and enchant people to shell out all they've got for such movies that inevitably do not hold out on the promise.

Please do have tracks and mementoes so people like me can hold on to some of the magic if not all.